Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
someone owes me an orgasm
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Randomize
