but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
