Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize