Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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