I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
