i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
this will be a night to untag.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
