The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
