Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
