Yo dont text me then not text me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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