I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
