I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
