my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
