Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
