she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
