i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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