Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
