This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
