Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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