he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
