So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
