I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
