summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
