Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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