the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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