i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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