I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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