exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
