i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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