She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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