I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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