I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
