i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
