I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
zippers are such a cool invention
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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