So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
