playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
