I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize