Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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