we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize