Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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