I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
