Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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