Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
