he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
