the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
