Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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