you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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