I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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