Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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