the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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