i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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