3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize