dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
