so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
