so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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