you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
