I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
