your parents love me but you hate me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He better not be in your backpack
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
