I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
