Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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