three words: i give head
three words: not that well
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
