I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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