Where is the hickey?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He shit in the fireplace
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize