Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
