that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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